The Fat Cat Tax (A children’s bedtime story)
By Dan Holman
My wife and I had discovered a good fishing spot along the Des Moines River ˝ mile before it empties into the Mississippi. A lean, dirty black and white kitty was watching us unload our equipment. It tried to get into my bait box to steal whatever it could, but I shooed it away. It was persistent; I finally chased it away with a handful of pebbles. The cat found my wife Donna a softer gentler touch and hung around her the entire time we fished.
The cat begged for each fish that Donna threw into her bucket. As we were leaving we felt sorry for her and gave her one of the smaller fish which she greedily devoured.
To our surprise, the next time we went fishing the kitty was still there! After a successful catch we once again gave her a fish. She did not seem content with the small offering we gave her the time before. We smiled at each other and gave her a larger fish. This went on for some time. The purring and fawning cat managed to get bigger fish from us.
When we returned the next season she had a litter; there was also a tomcat which was not nearly as friendly as she. This family of cats was much more demanding; they took 2 or 3 big fish each time we went fishing. There was plenty of fish so we did not mind.
Other fisherman discovered this spot and eventually a sign was erected: “NO FISHING WITHOUT PERMISSION!” There was an arrow pointing to a booth, and inside the booth was the very much larger tomcat wearing an impressive looking uniform. He explained to us that the fishing spot rightfully belonged to the cats which had grown to be quite numerous. The tomcat demanded a small parking fee. Not wishing to challenge this latest development, we reluctantly paid the trifling sum and went fishing.
One day the very much larger tomcat surprised us by confiscating our entire catch. He told us that the fish we caught were not our fish! "All the fish in the river belong to the cats!" he said. “If you want fish of our own, you must buy a license from the cats!”
The license fee was small, so we once again reluctantly agreed. The next time we went fishing the tomcat, which had grown to the size of a Lion, demanded to examine our catch. He told us that we were in violation of our licensed agreement on sizes, species, and count (we had not read the fine print!). He seized our catch, our fishing equipment, and impounded our vehicle.
This incident left us impoverished. Without fish we cannot eat. Without a vehicle we cannot work. Bills mount up and creditors eventually seized our house and belongings.
Hungry, cold, and destitute we return on foot to our old fishing spot where we are forced to beg for fish from the very cats who once begged from us.