Anti-Gun or Anti-Sanity?
Dear Daddy:
I heard that there was a new bill introduced that might result in what
the anti-gunners have wanted for decades -- total national registration of
firearms. What do you know about this -- and if it exists, could it possibly
pass constitutional challenges?
Sincerely,
Love my guns
Dear Love:
Daddy found out that you were right -- and called the bill's sponsor,
Congressman Wopper, (D-HA) and had a very enlightening discussion with him.
Dad: "Congressman, what's going on with your antigun proposal?"
Wopper: "Daddy, thanks for asking about my most recent service to the
American People. My new bill addresses the crisis of violence, the need for
positive federal government action, and at the same time, recognizes the
legitimate concerns our honest and law-abiding gun owning citizens have over
tampering with our 2nd Amendment protections.
In a nutshell, we are proposing a great incentive-based-voluntary program
to fight gun violence, lower the gun totals of this country, and provide
needed information for our law enforcement agencies. We avoid any
Constitutional challenges by simply leaving the gun owners alone.
Rather than registering guns and/or gun owners, we are going to register
only non-gun-owners! A one time deal, accomplished economically next year
during routine tax filing! Cross checked with the Census figures that will
be obtained this year!
Simply certifying that you and your household are not in possession or
ownership of any firearms qualifies the taxpayer for a $10,000 tax credit!
Who can resist that! Can you imagine the size of the refunds coming out next
year! This is going to be the most exciting year in IRS history!"
Daddy: "But, congressman, this could get rather expensive, don't you think?"
Wopper: "Not at all -- and besides, how can you put a price on possible lives
saved?
The IRS of course has sufficient penalties planned for falsifying any
returns. All claims for the tax credit automatically give the IRS the right
to search premises and audit records to ascertain if the filer qualifies.
Tax penalties are already set at $10,000 per gun found, up to a maximum of
$250,000. The census takers may get another year's work, also, since they
already know the neighborhoods. ATF will provide backup.
Of course, anyone not filing for the credit is assumed to be a gun owner,
or else insane. It was certainly their choice to turn down the $10,000!
The government will certify that all information will be kept strictly
confidential, like it was nuclear secrets, and that there will never be any
abuse of such records.
We believe this is going to be a win-win all across the board!
And I feel safer just thinking about it!"
Daddy: "You mean safer in your home or walking the street?"
Wopper: "Nah, safer in my chances for reelection!"
Daddy: "Thanks, congressman."
Daddy.
Past Issues of 'Dear Daddy'
What is Gunophobia?
Reclaiming Freedom
Loving Correction
Throw Off the Shackles
Death Penalty 'Balance'
Keep Christ in Christmas
Ten Commandment in Schools
The Never-Born and Heaven
Who Do You Serve?
Separation of Church and State
Flag Football
A Letter to Major League Baseball
Diversity of Guilt
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